Amy started school earlier this year, it was a tough transition for both of us. Today as she heads back to school after a term break, she is smiling, happy and there’s a spring to her step. A reminder to me that everything passes, even the tough times. This is what I wrote to her during that first week of school in January.
Today when I dropped you at school you sobbed your heart out, asking me to take you home and crying for your dog Becca and favourite bear Winnie the Pooh. Your little arms tightened around my neck and your legs clung to my waist. You did not see my heart breaking as I had to hand you to your teacher crying and just walk away. You only saw my brave face saying I would see you soon, you did not see the tears roll down my face as I walked away, you did not see me sobbing in my car as I sat there wishing I could run back inside and hug you tight and protect you from the hardships that you must overcome in this tough thing called life. You don’t know how many times I called the school in one morning to check that you were alright and had settled.
For two years you have been my constant companion, my friend and sunshine who has shared every day of my life. We have played together, laughed together, learnt together and even cried together. It takes my breath away to be separated from you, you are and always will be a part of me, of my heart, and today once again I feel as if my heart is missing a piece.
So please know that even though I smile for you, to be strong for you and to encourage you, my heart aches for your sadness and I wish I could sweep you up in my arms and keep you with me forever. The house that I came home to feels empty without you, without the patter of your little feet, the sound of your excited voice, and of course your delightful giggles.
I miss you, I cry for you. And for now I do the only thing I can, I wait for you to come home, and I eat a piece of chocolate cake.