A new pair of shoes

As a woman I know that a new pair of shoes can change your life. But little did I know how it could change my toddler’s life, or how I perceived her.

I have a love, hate relationship with wanting my kids to stay small and enjoying watching them grow into their own little people. It’s like the yin-yang of parenthood. This afternoon it was set off by something as simple as a new pair of shoes.  We needed to buy Amy some new shoes and I decided to spoil her with the pair she had seen and fallen in love with. They were more dressy in nature and I mainly stick to functional so I had chosen not to indulge her squeals of delight when she saw these particular shoes before.

Today I decided to get them for her. I couldn’t help but beam from ear to ear at the thought of giving them to her, and her excitement as she unwrapped them didn’t disappoint. She was over the moon and wanted to put them on right away, off came the tags so no turning back now.  She put them on and seemed to transform into a fairy right before my eyes! The little bun upstyle my mom had put in her hair also added to the flair, resulting in a little girl that looked like a ballerina right before my eyes.

I found myself choking back a (happy but also sad) sob at seeing this little girl growing up and looking so grown up already at the tender age of just two. I’m so proud of who she is becoming, but seeing her spinning excitedly and piroeting while repeatedly asking me when she can start ballet, made me wish she would just slow down a little and stay my sweet little girl for a while longer.

It’s true what they say. A new pair of shoes can change your life. For her it was happiness and an affirmation of her wish to do ballet. For me it was pride and sadness and happiness all rolled into one. Only a mom can understand just how it’s possible for a heart to feel happy and sad at the same time.