All that we have lost

I wrote this a while ago now, but yesterday the tears flowed again as I went to pick up one of my son’s last school activity packs and the reality of him leaving a school we love hit me. If you’re in the same situation just know that you’re not alone. 

My heart is heavy tonight as I send in the notice to my son’s school. It’s a place that we have loved being a part of, with teachers that have helped to mould our children, surprising us with beautiful songs on Mother’s Day, heartwarming cards on Valentine’s Day and made our hearts burst with pride at seeing our children in concerts. We have loved being part of the family at the school and it breaks me to say goodbye for now.

More than that though I am crying tears of heartache over knowing my son won’t get to deepen the friendships he had just started to make during the first term of this year, the handmade art he will miss out on showing me, the way he was starting to participate more in ringtime and share his news with the class. Over Christmas concerts we won’t see him be a part of, birthday parties he won’t attend, time missed playing outside in the big sandpit, no more dress up games in the fantasy room and skipping enjoying snack time together with his friends.

There are so many firsts that he will miss out on, too many to count, but having walked this path before I know what they are, I acknowledge their value in both my life and his, and I mourn the loss. And so while I will explain the fun we will have over the next few months and how I am so happy to have him home with me once again, inside I will grieve for what could have been and what should have been but what ultimately won’t be.

We make the most of what we are given. At the end of the day it’s all we can do. But that doesn’t mean we don’t realise what we have lost because of the Coronavirus and cry about the memories and experiences that our children have been robbed of.